“Friends don’t let friends do wolf turns.”

-This t-shirt. Happy 2018, and be sure to push fluids.

Trouble in Michigan

Abuse claims make waves: Sex abuse allegations against Larry Nassar and Michigan State University could potentially affect laws in the state. Under proposed legislation, public institutions like MSU would not be allowed to use taxpayer money to settle sex assault claims.

The scandal has spread to the gubernatorial race as well: Candidate Gretchen Whitmer is calling for MSU president Lou Anna Simon’s resignation, and opponent Shri Thanedar is calling for Whitmer to bow out due to her handling of the case back in 2016.

When you think he can’t get any worse: Lansing State Journal criminal justice reporter Matt Mencarini unearthed a letter Larry Nassar wrote to his boss at MSU in 2016. In it, Nassar says he hopes to get 1,000 signatures on an affidavit about his “morals and ethics.” He also strangely predicts the #MeToo movement in the letter.

Meanwhile, British papers have made a disturbing discovery: that Nassar is profiting from ads, including ones for the Olympic Channel, that appear on his YouTube videos. Please do us all a favor and don’t fact check this one.

Required reading: Nolan Finley of the Detroit News argues that MSU’s independent investigation is sketchy as hell, and Eric Adelson of Yahoo Sports wonders why this scandal hasn’t gotten nearly as much attention as Penn State did.

Star status

Tough act to follow: Simone Biles’ new coach Laurent Landi says that he feels “very fortunate” to coach the GOAT, and that he’s “not going to change Simone Biles.”

Grishi takes a stand: Russian Olympic silver medalist Anastasia Grishina has successfully sued her mother to get some of her property back. Read the full story on Gymnovosti, and pause to remember that time your mom took a 20 out of your purse, as if you wouldn’t notice.

NCAA Corner

Fun fact: This year all five members of the 2015 US Pan American Championship team will grace us with their near-sticks and college salutes. Can you name them in your current condition?

Because you asked…

When she’s not busy live-tweeting her Lost re-watch, The Gymternet editor-in-chief Lauren is answering all your questions on You Asked. While we love every one of our readers, if you want to know a gymnast’s birthdate, please click here.

Staying social

Starstruck: Olympic gold and bronze medalist and hair clipspert Yang Yilin made an appearance at Chow’s Gymnastics and Dance.

15.366 points for Gryffindor: Morgan Hurd has officially debuted her Harry Potter leo. Like all the best things, it was made by someone’s mom.

Need to know

Jade? Jade who: Many WAG gymnasts took advantage of the post-Olympic year to make their names known, and we have opinions about them.

Last words

Start the year off right, with a snarky t-shirt that your mom won’t understand, and be thankful for a slow news week.

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