Around the Gymternet: I believe that makes a baker’s dozen, Bob


“Alexis Vasquez’s leaps cured my migraine, cleared my pores, watered my crops and boosted my GPA.” –Suzanne of Twitter fame. Maybe she’s born with it; maybe it’s Alexis Vasquez’s leaps.

Comp news

Elite Canada happened. Ana Padurariu easily won the title to become the new Queen of Canada, sorry Elizabeth. Here’s your recap.

We have a Birmingham World Cup roster. And it’s seriously stacked, including Aliya Mustafina or at least the half of her that will be in that time-space plane #physics #school.

The Buckeye Classic happened. Here are the results. If you’re wondering about Kristal (Uzelac) Bodenschatz, the 32-year-old former junior national champion who’s gunning for a comeback, she unfortunately fell on beam and didn’t qualify elite.

The Reykjavik Games happened. Here are your results, which I retrieved for you from the depths of the volcano Eyjafjallajökull, you’re so welcome.

NCAA corner

Meets happened. In the actually most important sporting event of the weekend, Oklahoma beat Florida, with both teams surpassing 198. Lauren was kind enough to live blog this one for you #hail.

UCLA defeated Oregon State with a sky-high 197.900, and Kyla Ross got a 10 on bars. The rest of the week’s results are here.

There was crack scoring. What else is new?

P.S. Here’s part three of our NCAA elites series.

Other news

The Ed Dept’s not happy with MSU. The U.S. Department of Education is not happy with Michigan State University’s handling of Larry Nassar’s abuse, according to a scathing report released on Wednesday. The report says 11 individuals reported Nassar’s abuse to university officials, including in 2016, when a coach was informed but chose not to report.

Here are some other findings from the report.

USAG has a new Veep. Since Julia Louis-Dreyfus impolitely declined in a way that only she can, Annie Heffernon was named USA Gymnastics’ vice president of women’s gymnastics. Heffernon was already serving as the interim veep.

  • Amanda Thomashaw will represent the Sister Survivors at the State of the Union Address [withholds political commentary, explodes, you’re welcome].
  • InStyle named Simone Biles one of their aptly named Badass 50.

Star status

Upgrades. Irina Alexeeva is trying out a new beam mount, and Ellie Black debuted this new tumbling pass at Elite Canada. Also, Sam Mikulak upgraded his life with a new puppers.

Comebacks. The sun rose, the clouds parted, and Larisa Iordache was cleared to train. *Tears up* It feels good to win one.

Injuries. Oleg Verniaiev had two surgeries in one week, and one of the many ragged orphan children we gymternetters have employed as eyes spotted Ragan Smith in a boot.

International friendships. Watch Japan train in harmony with their rivals in China, say “aww,” shed a tear and buy this sugar drink before going back to your regularly scheduled programming #CTENeverHeardofit.

Staying social

Somebody. Please tell me this story about John Geddert is true.

Idk. What even is this vault. Like, what’s even the point of the table?

Give those trousers a medal. These pants did a triple-twisting double layout in the snow, proving that we can save the athletes the trouble and just watch people throwing clothes in arctic temperatures from now on.

Aww. Here’s a dad watching beam. Shed a tear and buy this gadget, it’ll improve your life, we have no ulterior motives, promise.

Queens, both. Aly Raisman and Dominique Moceanu both graced us with their presences in interviews this week.

Because you asked…

How does Kristal Uzelac’s comeback work? And Lauren’s got the lowdown on MyKayla Skinner.

Last words

It’s been a rough week. Do not remind me that it’s Monday. (And by the time Lauren, who stepped on a tetanus nail last night and bled through her shoe, posted this, it was Wednesday, so. Rough.)

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15 thoughts on “Around the Gymternet: I believe that makes a baker’s dozen, Bob

    • I initially thought “Isn’t Ellie Elsabeth?”, but then realized they were probably talking about Queen Elizabeth II. This blog loves Ellie Black too much to mess up her name.

      Liked by 3 people

        • She is the most perfect queen you could ever imagine speaking to. I first met her in 2015 and have spoken to her many times since then, but I was blown away the first time we talked because I was asking about how she was now seeing so much individual success as an all-arounder and leader for the Canadian team, and she was like “I don’t care what I do in the sport as long as my team is doing well.” She is always super diplomatic and all about her team, and she’s so humble and incredible and sweet. She never wants to talk about herself, and I think she was more excited for Ana’s beam medal at worlds last year than she was for her own all-around medal in 2017.

          Liked by 1 person

    • It doesn’t look like she’s at the one in California going on this weekend, so she has 4 more opportunities, the last one being in June.


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