“D3 gymnast: *breathes*

Judge: 9.3”

-Good news: We’re starting to figure out the D3 Code of Points. Try breathing harder, I guess?

International Gymnix

The comps happened. And our very own Lauren Hopkins was there in person to give you live hits and also to be up to no good.

CliffsNotes: Kara Eaker proved herself to be quite the all-arounder, winning the senior cup with a 55.298 ahead of compatriots Alyona Shchennikova and Sloane Blakely. Team USA also won the team comp, followed by our neighbors to the north and Australia. Emily Lee of West Valley (USA) won the Challenge Cup.

For the juniors, Canada’s Zoé Allaire-Bourgie defended her all-around title, followed by Americans Olivia Greaves and Skye Blakely, who won the team title. Meanwhile, Lily Lippeatt, who came in fifth, turned heads with her layout full to double back on floor.

Plus, equipment failure. It wouldn’t be Montreal without something going wrong with the floor, leaving Shchennikova looking around confused by the presence of a strange man.

Russian Cup

The women competed. Angelina Simakova took the women’s all-around title, followed by Angelina Melnikova and Aliya Mustafina, who competed in front of her own goddamn face, pushed a creepy furry man, and got the highest all-around score on day two. She did this quad turn that not everybody likes, and hopes to upgrade to a DTY for worlds after competing an FTY here.

In event finals, Maria Paseka won vault with an Amanar that nobody expected, despite having had surgery like yesterday. Meanwhile, Russia’s Euros team will be Simakova, Melnikova, Anastasia Iliankova, and Paseka—with Musty noticeably absent.

The men, too. Well, some of them. Nikolai Kuksenkov withdrew (but not without drama, of course. Rodionenko says he’s retired; he says he’s not. Because Russia), as did David Belyavskiy, who will also miss Euros. Artur Dalaloyan also withdrew after day one, and, more importantly, I just spelled his name right on the very first try.

This left Nikita Nagornyy to sweep every title except floor, where he came in second. Oh, and one more thing: Everyone’s fat.

NCAA corner

In LSU news, Kennedi Edney scored a 10 on senior night, as did McKenna Kelley, but it was “just” a 9.95 for Sarah Finnegan. They led the Tiggers to a whopping (golly gee) 198.15 against OSU on Friday.

In UCLA news, Kyla got a 10 on beam, her sixth week in a row to get the big one-oh, and UCLA scored a sky-high 198.325 to beat Stanford. This gave them the top week 10 score ahead of Oklahoma, which scored a 198.200 against Michigan, and Florida, which scored a 198.025 against Penn State.

Meanwhile, Denver is movin’ on up…

Recruitment news. It’s official: Maile O’Keefe is going to Utah!

Other news

USAG decertification on hold. The U.S. Olympic Committee has put the decertification of USA Gymnastics on hold while bankruptcy proceedings, well, proceed, according to USOC CEO Sarah Hirshland. She said in a statement that this is in order to facilitate the litigation payments to survivors. P.S. This likely means USAG will be our governing bod through Tokyo.

Trouble at BGSU. Some gymnasts at Bowling Green State University have alleged physical and mental abuse by coaches there, but an internal investigation found no evidence of abuse. BGSU alum India McPeak spoke up, defending the coaching practices at BGSU, though some saw some of the practices she outlined in her tweet as problematic.

And…sold. Rachael Denhollander’s publishing a memoir and a children’s book, both out in September and available for pre-order.

Required reading

• Viral gymnast Katelyn Ohashi on learning to show emotion (Medium)
• The Hamilton song that inspires Oklahoma gymnast Brenna Dowell (ESPNW)

Star status

Lineups. Leah Griesser replaced Kim Bui at Burning Man, but Bui’s replacing Pauline Schaefer at Stuttgart. Also, Kseniia Klimenko will go to Tokyo WC instead of Angelina Simakova, and Carina Kroell will go instead of Elisabeth Seitz.

Meanwhile, the Brits have named their Euros teams, men and women.

Injuries. Nina Derwael might miss Euros due to a finger injury.

Comebacks. Iordache wants to be back for worlds, turns out. And, Amy Tinkler is tumbling.

Upgrades. You gotta see Rebecca Andrade’s bar routine 😍

Staying social

Dipa dolls. Dipa Karmakar has a Barbie now, though it’s unclear how it’ll get into the cannonball position with knees that don’t bend.

How do you watch Yul? With popcorn, of course. Oklahoma’s PR guy is all of us.

Last words

Like the full-twisting Yurchenko of millennials, I could use an upgrade, too.

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