1. ‘Sup, Russians! There’s Khorkina, and Lobaznyuk, and Produnova…and ZAMO??? WHAT IS GOING ON???

2. OMG Prod, no!!! Stupid three-per-country rule. Whatever, Khorkina’s going to win anyway.

3. YASSSS FLUFF. Arkayev is everyone’s dad, bless bless bless.

4. The whole town of Deva marches in the darkness with candles just to pray for the Romanian girls. Wowzers.

5. Oh, the Americans are here too. Elise Ray is totally going to medal.

6. I miss the Mag 7.

7. Lobaz, NOOOOO, a step out of bounds, you’re done.

8. You know things are bad when NBC doesn’t even focus on the American girls.

9. WHAT THE FUDGE IS KRISTEN MALONEY WEARING.

10. OH GOD, ELISE RAY, NO. Never vault again. Terror.

11. Khorkina’s floor is so enchanting even the Trio didn’t yap their way through it.

12. ELISE, NO, I TOLD YOU NOT TO VAULT AGAIN.

13. I always forget that Maria Olaru is the world champ.

14. Why are the Australian bars so goofy looking? The box weirds me out…

15. Ooh, Karpenko is wearing black. Khorkina’s gonna be pissed…

16. Oh, good, another punch front mount.

17. Oooh, the Queen’s about to vault. This is gonna be good.

18. SWEET JESUS, why is she screaming??

19. She’s probably pissed that someone slashed her leo.

20. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

21. Mourning.

22. Mourning forever.

23. I’m starting to feel that Elfi is getting turned on by all of these falls.

24. Karpenko’s legs come apart exactly one time during her entire UB routine. Impressive.

25. PANDEMONIUM AROUND THE VAULT

26. Oh, for the love of crap. They’re gonna have to redo the meet, right?

27. This is the literal worst.

28. This isn’t even the Olympics anymore.

29. I’ll keep watching, though. Only because of Raducan’s toe point.

30. Stunning Aladdin medley in the background. Really great.

31. Really, Sveta? I hate this meet.

32. I love the opening bit to Ray’s BB.

33. Girl even runs on her toes.

34. Kelli Hill is over it.

35. “Hopefully we have this break measured properly.” Eat a dick, Al.

36. Yang Yun’s foot-ography is everything.

37. Kelli and Donna are cackling at the news of the vault. They are so done with the 2000 Olympics.

38. This beeotch is trying to convince Khorkina to vault again. Khorkina’s the boss here, not you.

39. I can think of few routines with choreography worse than Amanar’s FX.

40. Ah, a little Zamo to cleanse my palate.

41. Damn it.

42. This meet is cursed.

43. Produnova is probably laughing.

44. 9.6 on UB for Olaru, OK LOLOLOLOL.

45. Khorkina on the Nokia.

46. Bye Karpenko.

47. This meet is dead to me.

48. Al is bemoaning the fact that Lisa Skinner doesn’t have a super hard vault to chuck so she can medal.

49. Raducan is the only good part about this entire meet. I sure hope nothing bad happens with her!

50. TOEPOINT ❤

51. It’s so bizarre how the entire Romanian team suffers from what we’ll call “choreographic hell,” and then there’s Raducan who is like an angel sent from the heavens.

52. Sweep sweep sweep! I’m making little swish-swish noises in my head.

53. I hope this sweep doesn’t eff with the current per-country rules.

54. Well, this was the absolute worst.

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Article by Spanny Tampson