The Gymternet is excited to welcome a translation from a story published on the Chinese website 163.com, a site much like Yahoo. The story focuses on life after gymnastics for two-time Olympian Deng Linlin, who won gold first with her team in 2008 and then again on balance beam in 2012.

Now a student at Peking University’s School of International Relations in Beijing, Linlin recalls first moving away to train with her provincial team, her struggle to get used to performing high difficulty skills with a growing body after the Games in 2008, fighting back to become a lock for 2012, and getting used to a life of normalcy after retiring last year.

Thanks to master translator 16-233, we bring you the beautiful, inspirational article in its entirety. Enjoy!

On Sept 6th of 2013, Deng Linlin completed the last vault of her career at the National Games, and now, that life seems distant. 

“I took a nap at noon, and accidentally overslept,” wearing a red sweatshirt, jeans, and black running shoes, Deng Linlin explained while walking hastily into the classroom. She is now a freshman at the School of International Relations in PKU.  

Deng Linlin’s “fated meeting” with gymnastics was thanks to her brother. When she was in the first year of pre-school, she would follow her brother to the training gym after school. In 2000, during the AnHui Provincial Games, the WAG team was missing one person, and the coach asked Linlin—who was playing around in the facility—to fill-in for the team. After the Provincial Games, the coach from the provincial team was quick to spot Linlin’s talent, and she was selected into the provincial team.

In 2001, Linlin was nine years old. Having just left home to join the group training on the provincial team, she quickly came down with an illness. After days of high fevers that left her on bed rest, the coach told her to go home and rest up.

“I was like ‘no way’,” Deng Linlin reminisced, “back then, I’d rather die than go home.”

She didn’t know where the courage came from, “I thought if I went home, then they wouldn’t want me anymore. Training and living apart from my family was the hardest thing, but the coach was talking about the Beijing Olympics all the time, and I wanted to join the National Team, I wanted to go to the Olympics.”  

After earning the gold medal at the 2008 Beijing Olympics with five of her teammates, Deng Linlin eventually ran into obstacles in the form of injuries and growth spurts, as a result, she was unable to keep up the difficulty of her routines. For the 2011 World Championships selection process, Deng Linlin was 9th on the list.

“It’s a team of six, and I wasn’t even an alternate,” she said.  

“I thought it was inconceivable at first, that it couldn’t be real. For someone like me, who’s been at the top, I couldn’t believe my ranking was so low.” The results of competing at Worlds weighs in on whether someone could be selected to go to London or not, and for Deng Linlin, who failed to even qualify for Worlds, the dream of going to London seemed like a fading one. 

“Back then I was completely depressed, but if it wasn’t for that and how hard it hit, maybe I wouldn’t have worked so hard after that. I feel like I’m the kind of person who gets stronger with adversity.”

After the setback, Deng Linlin quickly threw her whole life into training. “See, I’m not the most innately talented for my sport, but if you look at the gymnasts that ends up with good results, a lot of them are not born the most talented; we know we weren’t born with the top physical abilities compared to our peers, so we learn to work harder—otherwise it’s not going to happen for us.” 

In the year between Worlds and Olympics, Deng Linlin became the champion at two National competitions. Came time for team selection for the Olympics, she was a lock.   

“I wanted to perform the best that I possibly could,” she said of her thoughts during her last Olympics. “I wanted the gold so badly, and my heart was a mess, especially as the competitions neared. It’s like, when you’ve studied for something for a long long time, and it was time for the exam—it was the last step, and you want it to be perfect so badly, but the more you want it, the farther you are from it because of the pressure.

“Every time I get on the beam, I get nervous. My heart beats super fast and I can’t help but tremble.”

Before the competition, Linlin had to call her coach, and the coach told her to just “focus on the process”. When she was standing on the beam, those were the words she took to heart.

Student Life

After the London Olympics, Deng Linlin was ready to focus on academics. As a two-time Olympic champion and National Game champion, she was admitted into Peking University [Translator: based on Chinese policy, athletes who have won major international titles are admitted into the top universities upon retirement]. Linlin chose the School of International Relations because she hopes to one day work for the FIG. 

Deng Linlin entered PKU after the National Games, two weeks later than the other freshmen, which means she missed orientation. “When I first arrived, I was so dumbfounded, I had no idea what I was doing at all.”

She couldn’t find her classrooms, she didn’t know how to pick her electives; walking through the aisles of bookshelves in the library, she had no idea how to find the books she’s supposed to be reading. “The first time I went to the library, I saw everyone burrowing books inside, yet I had no idea where the entrance was.”

Beside Linlin’s desk, a schedule was glued down, and on it, her entire student life planned out from the moment she wakes to the moment she sleeps: 

6:00 Wake up.
6:15 Jumping rope.
6:30 Morning reviews. 
7:05 Breakfast. 
8:15 Study session. 
9:00—12:00 History of International Relations

In the afternoons, she allotted times for naps (1:30) until she wakes up and stretches (3:00); she watches the evening news at 7 like clockwork, and dedicated 8:20 to 10:30 to learning English. 

At 11:20, she drinks a glass of milk and go to sleep.  

Deng Linlin tackled the adjustment of professional-athlete-turned-fulltime-student from the very basics—daily schedule. “When I was an athlete, nothing in the schedule ever changes. There’s a time for training, a time for eating, and if there’s a time where I didn’t know what I should be doing, the coaches would tell me what to do, and I just needed to perform the task,” she explained. It was strict and predicable, and so, Linlin developed a habit of planning her life according to a schedule. 

However, once she entered life at the university, she was soon finding the execution of said scheduling harder than she thought. “I felt that student life has a lot more freedom, and I am in charge of planning things for myself after class. I always imagined student life to be a certain way—getting up in the morning to memorize vocabulary, so on—but I didn’t realize I had it in me to be lazy,” Linlin was embarrassed to admit. Scratching her head, she continued, “I was indulgent towards myself and totally fattened up.”

Even as she’s getting on track for student life, Deng Linlin still seemed exhausted. “Studying uses so much brainpower, and I’m always sleepy, so I need the nap—when I was on the National Team, if there was no training, I was energetic all day.”

Before entering university, Linlin hasn’t been on the computer much either. “My eyes can’t really take it if I have to stare at the screen for too long.”

Deng Linlin entered the provincial team when she was in the first grade, and her life up until now consisted mostly of training. Every week, there’s only four half-days of studying—two days in the mornings and two days at night. The education she received was standard, but basic: Math, Literature, History, Geography, etc.

“Honestly, the only normal school I attended was first grade. I’m a complete blank page when it comes to academics,” she said.

“Linlin is super hardworking and studious,” her roommates all agreed. 

“I’m not like all of you,” Linlin insisted, “I don’t know anything, so I have to learn everything.”

In her first semester at PKU, Linlin took on 20 credits. Besides her prerequisites, she selected Physical Education as her elective, along with two other classes on Olympic Culture, and Healthy Lifestyle and Communication [Translator: I looked this up and it’s mostly about awareness of physical health, mental health, nutrition, etc]. 

“I saw the course names and I didn’t know the first thing about those classes, but I thought it was something that’s relatable to me, so I picked them. Afterwards, I found out that the exams of the Olympic Culture class are all open-book, and I thought I made the right decision!” she grinned brightly when she explained, clearly proud of herself.

During the midterms, Deng Linlin has to deal with the extra workload of essays and reports. “I have an essay due for the Olympic Culture class, a book report for International Relations, and a paper for Chinese Policy Studies…” she counted down all the homework that needed to get done. “I don’t even know the first thing about how to write a paper or book report. I feel like my brain is swollen right now.” 

In Deng Linlin’s schedule, besides reading and studying, the second most frequent activity is learning English. When the reporter arrived in her dorm room, she was sitting on the bed, holding a booklet filled with English vocabulary, and making notes in it. Every word in the booklet had notes written in red and green ink, and most pages have fold marks on them. [Translator: it’s a common study method, at least in China, to write on one side of the notebook, then you fold the page in the middle to cover the words and try to memorize things and test yourself.]

When speaking about her own progress, she said, “I’m not book-smart, but I try to be, and I can only compare myself today to who I was the day before.”

“I felt as if I had nothing”

Back when the documentary “Building a Dream for 2008” was filming, every time Deng Linlin was on camera, she was crying. As a result, many articles written about her often described her as a “crybaby”. 

“I really don’t cry that easily,” she clarified to the reporter, “but back then I wasn’t used to Beijing’s climate, and my nose was always red.”

Linlin left home at such a young age that her dependency and bonds with her family wasn’t too deep. Instead, the people she misses most are her teammates and coaches. When she first moved into the university dormitory, she often thought about the simpler days of training.

“The first day, I didn’t realize that you need a special ID card to use the showers when I needed to go shower, and I had no idea where to get the card,” she recalled. When she reaches an obstacle during training, she was never alone—there’s always a large group of people supporting her, including her coaches, the staff, her teammates. During the adjustment period, she couldn’t help but think “I have nothing and no one. “ 

However, though she’s no longer surrounded by her teammates and coaches, Deng Linlin’s fans supported her loyally even after her retirement. They call themselves “Lights.” [Translator: Deng, the first tone, has the same sound as Linlin’s family name which is the fourth tone, it means light/light-bulb/lamp. Huo means fire. Deng Huo together literally means “fire from the light” and usually just means “lights”.] On Baidu Tieba, “Lights” make almost a post a day about her progress and growth, making well-wishes and trying to find out how she’s adjusting at PKU. Linlin doesn’t go online often, but it wasn’t long before she found out about the existence of her fan-club.

“Sometimes I think I must be pretty awesome to be able to inspire others,” she said, smiling.  

Living the student life, Linlin goes by the philosophy of “try everything once.” Oftentimes she would even force herself to attend social activities. She went to the Freshmen Ball with a black dress and high heels, and she danced.

“When I came back from dancing, I thought my feet were just done.”  

When one is on the National Team, even though they traveled all over the world for competitions, their social circles are very small. With that came a certain naivety. She’s older than her roommates, but they often say that she seems way younger than them. 

“It’s all an illusion,” she laughed, “because they knew way more than me and they are the ones helping me, so I seem like the baby of the group.”

On the social networking site Renren (the Chinese Facebook), a lot of people were showing off the photos they took with “Olympic Champion Deng Linlin.” Even more asks for autographs through her roommates and her friends. 

“When we first found out that she was going to be our roommate, we were so excited. The three of us had a huge discussion and read all about her on Baidu.” Her roommates would often bring a stack of photos for Deng Linlin to sign, and distribute them to her fans in the school.  

Sitting beside them, Deng Linlin merely laughed. “Actually, there really weren’t that many people asking for autographs. The classmates here at PKU are pretty chill.”

Being out of the spotlight, the first thing she did was to “find out where I stand in life.”

“I’m just a normal person now,” she said, “but maybe I feel a bit unapproachable because of my own personality. I chose the area of my study also because I want to learn to socialize, and communicate and exchange ideas with people all over the world.”

Linlin thinks that being an introvert is her biggest obstacle. To her, sometimes the instructors are “more serious than the coaches”; in class, she’s often afraid that she’ll ask a question that would be deemed “elementary,” and be laughed at by her classmates. 

Still adjusting to her new life, Deng Linlin gave some thought to her situation. “In one’s lifetime, there’s always ups and downs; when you are at the highest point, maybe everything will take a downward path, but when you are at the lowest possible point, once you power through it, things will look up again.” She paused for a moment in thought before adding, “for now, I guess I’m at the lowest point. They say that people like us [retired Chinese athletes] probably take a year to adjust. I feel like I’m just getting used to things.”

“Speaking from the bottom of my heart, the first two weeks, I just wanted to give up. I felt completely helpless. Then I thought about it, and no matter what, I have to keep going—I must keep going.” At that, the rims of her eyes reddened, and it wasn’t because of the dry weather in Beijing—there were tears forming in her eyes. 

When the interview was over, Linlin asked a question that made everyone silent. 

“Do you guys… think I’m kind of unapproachable?”

Written by Xiao Bei, Wang Lingwei, Yuan Ruoxi, Wang Dandan,and Li Yuanzhao
Translation by 16-233