“We’re not mad, but you have to explain it.” -Spencer’s wondering how Deanne Soza ended up on the nationals lineup without qualifying. I’m strangely okay with it, but, as my mother would say, what the hell do I know.

It’s European

Russia hit. Russia’s seniors hit every routine to take the team gold at the European Championships, followed by France and the Netherlands. For you model UN kids, that means the podium looked like this.

Event finals happened. Dutch sorceress Sanne Wevers gorgeously took the beam title, Belgium’s Nina Derwael struck gold on bars and decided she’s good at beam too, earning silver; Bolglarka Devai of Hungary won the vault title and had a reaction that warmed even my stone cold heart; and Mélanie De Jesus Dos Santos was also adorable after winning floor.

Italy’s juniors crushed it. They took the team gold, and Giorgia Villa took the all-around title plus three event medals.

Belgium RSVP’d no. Belgium’s seniors placed third as a team in qualifications, but opted out of competing in team finals in order to avoid injury.

The Dutch made entrances. The Netherlands visited all the way from District 1, and the juniors and the Cat Formerly Known as Celine van Gerner delivered as well.

Everybody hurts. The danger of having all these women in the same place is of course that they’ll all end up on the same injury cycle. Euros was no exception:

Becky Downie, Anamaria Ocolisan, Berta Pujadas, Sofia Busato, Marina Nekrasova, Marlies Männersdorfer, Elina Vihrova, and Zane Petrova all had to withdraw from the competition, while Helmi Murto was limited to just bars. #getwellgetwellsoon.

The revolution was not televised. Like a meet held in the deserts of Libya, streams were hard to come by, and the UEG likes to party like it’s 1999…BC.

Some news

Aquilina says, I’m good. In a magnitude nine shock to everyone, Judge Rosemarie Aquilina denied Larry Nassar’s motion to have her removed from considering his challenge to his sentence on Friday.

Before the hearing, the Michigan Attorney General backed Aquilina, saying she “voiced the community’s moral outrage” during sentencing. Nassar’s lawyers responded, accusing Aquilina of antagonism.

• A U.S. district court judge decreed that former gymnasts will be able to depose and obtain documents and testimony from USA Gymnastics and the U.S. Olympic Committee employees on Thursday.

Required reading

• U.S. Gymnastics Sexual Abuse Scandal Sparks Reissue of ‘Little Girls in Pretty Boxes’ (KQED). Read Jamie Dantzscher’s forward, now (ESPNW).
• John Manly busted pedophile priests. Now he’s representing hundreds of America’s top gymnasts who allege they were sexually abused by their team’s doctor (The Advocate).
• How Katelyn Ohashi Rediscovered Gymnastics on Her Own Terms (Lenny).
• Aly Raisman on Body Image and ‘Self-Conscious’ Bra Shopping: ‘I Felt My Muscles Weren’t Feminine’ (People).
• Ohio State Wrestlers Say Larry Nassar’s Accusers Inspired Them To Come Forward (Bustle).

Star status

Upgrades. Aliya Mustafina is training a Ricna, and whispers among the trees speak of a double double. Also, Tisha Volleman is coming for your vault medals.

NCAA corner

You’re hired. Joanne Bowers has been named head coach at San Jose State University.

Wanna feel old? All these babies are in college now. Norah Flatley is heading to UCLA with bestie Margzetta Frazier, though she’s gonna miss Chow’s sense of humor.

Staying social

I have a theory. Was the beam at the U.S. Classic crooked? Tell us what you think (It was. The beam was crooked).

Are you there, Spencer? It’s me, Jess. Spencer is a bra expert, and he’s here to take the rest of your female-specific questions, too. Ask away!

Speaking of bras. Get those straps out, ladies.

Jess’ mental state

I just got off a red-eye flight with a screaming, seat-kicking child behind me and went straight to work, so I’m pretty close to just going outside and strangling the first squirrel I see. Happy Monday, y’all.

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