“I think chocolate’s the secret.” Auburn’s Skyler Sheppard explained the key to her team’s win over LSU. She’s right, y’all.

Comp news

NCAA happened.

• UCLA beat Cal, MSU, and UC Davis with a 197.700. Kyla Ross got a 10 on bars, and Katelyn Ohashi snagged one on a flour routine that’s gone viral (sic).
• Oklahoma beat Georgia with a disappointing 197.825. Dowell did her Dowell, which was glorious, but we’re all waiting to hear about Maggie Nichols, who could possibly maybe be injured.
• Utah beat BYU, with MyKayla dropping jaws as per usual. We also saw a Mario-themed routine from BYU’s Shannon Hortman-Evans.
• Florida beat Missouri, with Trinity Thomas making her much-awaited debut and Alyssa Baumann sitting out after a scary fall in practice.
• Auburn upset LSU thanks to Twix. McKenna Kelley was replaced in the lineup after having ankle issues.
• Denver upset Alabama and Michigan, but all anyone could talk about was Rhonda Faehn (see below).

P.S. Here are the NCAA’s former elites of 2019.

Scammers were named. Grace McCallum and Leanne Wong will compete at the American Cup in March, against big names like Mai Murakami, Kim Bui, and Ellie Black. The AP’s Will Graves explained the selection.

For the boys, Sam Mikulak and Yul Moldauer will represent Team USA, and Kenzo Shirai will be there.

Wut else happened

U of M drama. Gymnerds found out at Friday’s Michigan meet that Rhonda Faehn (yes, that Rhonda Faehn) was hired as an assistant coach there. The ‘net was quick to respond, including Rachael Denhollander, who was like, no.

Faehn was fired on Sunday, causing debate on the gymternet over whether she’s being treated fairly. Michigan student assistant coach Polina Shchennikova came forward as someone who was “affected by Nassar” in a tweet, saying she was comfortable with Faehn.

Just USAG things. USA Gymnastics asked a bankruptcy court to approve over $80,000 in bonuses for employees, including $1,000 for Amy White, the employee who allegedly moved medical records from the Karolyi Ranch at the bequest of former CEO Steve Penny.

At the same time, men’s national team members have not received their monthly stipend of $1,875 from USAG because priorities. Update: Looks like they were paid today.

USOC drama. New U.S. Olympic Committee CEO Sarah Hirshland responded to athletes who are calling on Congress to disband the org, accusing them of making false claims and saying that they need to hold each other “accountable to telling the truth.”

The Committee to Restore Integrity to the USOC replied on Tuesday, stating that Hirshland’s statement was an attempt to silence athletes and that the org has failed to make changes in light of the Ropes & Gray report. The Committee has doubled down on its demands that the USOC board resign.

Let’s not forget MSU. There’s always more drama at MSU. Michigan State University’s board of trustees, which includes three new members, decided on Wednesday to open a new healing fund for survivors after a petition to reopen the Healing Fund got over 1,000 signatures.

Meanwhile, MSU’s interim president John Engler says there will be no more investigations into how the university handled Larry Nassar’s abuse. Engler also says the new healing fund may not be geared toward all survivors (but the board chair says that’s not his call), and that he thinks some survivors are “enjoying” the “spotlight.” 

Also, friendly reminders that Kathy Klages‘ and John Geddert’s legal challenges are still ongoing.

Good news. Yes, finally. Simone Biles was named Sports Illustrated’s fittest female athlete in the world.

Required reading

• It’s not right to only hear the voices of some Nassar survivors (USA Today)
• The next step for elite gymnasts is to form a union (Deadspin)
• How Indy Star felled USA Gymnastics (Global Journalist)

Upgrades

Here’s Addison Fatta doing a Nabieva, Pavel Karnejenko doing a triple back, Carlos Yulo training a front tuck full to front triple full, Ewan McAteer’s throwback to trying a double straight Yurchenko, and a visual approximation of me trying to do anything gymnastics.

Staying social

Aly broke a bone. Aly Raisman broke her first bone, falling down the stairs and breaking her elbow. Stairs are a menace and we wish her a speedy recovery. 

Happy birthday, Agnes! Gymnastics legend Agnes Keleti turned 98 on Wednesday. At 98, Keleti still does more gymnastics than I ever will. Stop what you’re doing and read her story.

The Kenyan acrobats. High-level gymnast Veronique Sprenger spent ten weeks training in a slum called Kangemi in Nairobi alongside Kenyan acrobats, wrote her thesis about skill development through training, and made a video.

Don’t do this at home. Or anywhere. This real man of genius decided to do a backflip off the edge of a cliff. Me, I prefer to live.

They do what, exactly? Sanne Wevers appeared in an ad for Robeco, which is a Dutch asset management firm—*falls asleep.*

Ghost grips. For some reason the ladies at Round Lake filmed this video, and Luba’s definitely right, it’s the Russian Rapture.

Because you asked…

The Gymternet answered, again and again. And hey, while you’re here, sign up for this app, endorsed wholeheartedly by the one and only Lauren Hopkins.

Last words

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