“How how how?? I’m 39 and my bones sound like a percussion instrument when I get off the couch.” – Oksana Chusovitina took vault silver at the Asian Games, and all we want to know is what brand of infant blood she’s been drinking.
Wait, so there are other countries? Yup, ya damn racist. Since we managed to neglect an entire continent last week, we’re here to tell you that China dominated at the 2018 Asian Games.
China’s dudes won the team final along with 10 other medals, including one on parallel bars for Zou Jingyuan’s mesmerizing routine, though they’re upset that they didn’t get to face Japan’s A team.
Who else did well? The women of North Korea did very well, taking a medal on every event, including silver in the team final. Team star Kim Su Jong won floor and the all-around bronze, plus beam silver.
South Korea’s Yeo Seo-jeong earned her country’s first Asian Games gold since 1986, on vault.
So what else happened? Tell your friend who got punched in the gut and then the balls that Dipa Karmakar got Wiebered and then injured, and tell your friend who thought today was Labor Day to quit whining because Liu Jinru went too early on vault and got a zero.
Kathie Klages was charged. Former Michigan State University gymnastics coach Kathie Klages was charged on Thursday with lying to investigators about whether she knew about Larry Nassar’s abuse before 2016. Survivor Larissa Boyce said she told Klages about Nassar’s behavior in 1997.
Survivor and former MSU gymnast Lindsey Lemke said that Klages “was trying to defend Larry” when Lemke told her about his abuse in 2016. She also said in a statement that the charges “validate my truth.”
MSU said they have “no comment” on the charges. Meanwhile, the uni is under fire for scrapping the “teal” issue of its alumni magazine, and survivors are unhappy that they aren’t represented on the 19-member presidential search committee.
Nassar’s appeal was denied. Larry Nassar’s appeal to his 60-year federal sentence for child porn charges was denied on Wednesday. The next day, the Michigan Attorney General argued that Judge Aquilina should deny Nassar’s appeal to his Ingham County sentence. Aquilina will hear the case on Monday.
Everest parents support Qi Han. Some parents are defending Everest head coach Qi Han after a New York Times article included testimony that he was abusive in the gym. One parent called an incident a “misunderstanding” and a “sour grapes issue.” Everest alum Emily Schild also voiced her support.
Orozco said Donnell was snubbed. Donnell Whittenburg apparently didn’t know that he wasn’t in contention for the Pan Ams or worlds teams, and competed at nationals anyway. John Orozco called his omission from the teams “disrespectful.”
Confused about qualification? You’re not the only one. Tom Forster said he’s concerned that if an athlete goes to worlds, then she won’t be able to go to the Olympics as an individual, which is not true, and we’re all deeply concerned that he doesn’t get the process. Also, here’s why Jade Carey shouldn’t try to qualify via apparatus finals.
Psst: Here’s the process. Take one, pass it down.
- Rachael Denhollander, the woman who brought Larry Nassar to justice (The Athletic).
- Rachael Denhollander and The Indy Star’s Marisa Kwiatkowski talk to each other about bringing down Larry Nassar (Bustle).
- Simone Biles opens up about incredible victory at gymnastics championships: ‘I am human’ (Today Show).
- Simone Biles’ skills are even more mind-boggling in very slow motion (Deadspin).
- The absurdity of Simone Biles (Slate).
- Together we’ll rise (Official Miss Val).
If you’re looking for a comeback kid…John Orozco is your man. He’s back in the gym after having had shoulder surgery in February.
When you lose sleep over a white lie…Turns out Margzetta Frazier has been misleading us about being in the 5’2” club this whole time.
If you’re about to go visit your crazy aunt…Svetlana Khorkina is on a roll: She got annoyed while talking politics, and when she was asked about Aliya, she instead spoke about her one true love, herself.
When you wonder if you’re the only one…Turns out, Morgan Hurd isn’t the only bookworm in the gymworld.
When you’re at the gym and don’t know where to start…Thank you, Starsky, for reminding me why leg day is so important. I’ll think of you the next time I have to use my hands to get up a flight of stairs.
Two things can be true at the same time; in fact, so can three (or more)! Blows your mind, right?
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