“Ms. Hart wants us to load up on orange juice before our workout,” is about the most sensical part of this after school special about gymnasts who dope up their teammate and then watch her flail about on the floor while yelling words of encouragement.

Stuttgart World Cup

Simone won. Simone Biles won the women’s all-around title with some slightly downgraded routines (though it looks like she could fit in about 80 more flips in this timer), followed by Ana Padurariu and Elisabeth Seitz, who all went four-for-four. Lorette Charpy took fourth and Aliya brought her DTY but came in fifth after a nervous beam.

The ladies celebrated by taking an Ellen-at-the-Oscars-style selfie. Meanwhile, we seem to have had yet another hot mic issue, with some complaining about offensive comments on the Olympic Channel broadcast. Here’s your live blog, results, and a pic of Bradley Cooper.

The dudes, too, and teams. Artur Dalaloyan took the men’s title, followed by Sun Wei and Petro Pakhnyuk. For the team competition, Brazil’s ladies didn’t come here to make friends and won with a fall. Russia took silver, while the Netherlands came in third with this gem of a moment.

Baku World Cup

Jade Takes Baku. Jade Carey had a killer competition, bringing out her Cheng to win the vault and floor titles. Oksana Chusovitina is right on her tail, taking second on vault here and currently placing first in the Olympic qualifications.

Lyu Jiaqi of China won bars and Emma Nedov of Australia won beam. Both are leading their respective events in quals, though of course we’re still very early.

Other comp things. Ellie Downie won the all-around title at British Championships, followed by Kelly Simm, who unfortunately had to withdraw from event finals due to injury. James Hall took the men’s title.

Also, we have Euros lineups! Nina Derwael’s there, and Laney Madsen is listed under Bulgaria (other notes). In other lineup news, Carolann Héduit is replacing Mélanie de Jesus dos Santos at Birmingham, and Dipa Karmakar is out of Doha with a knee injury.

NCAA corner

UCLA said goodbye. Saturday’s meet against Utah State was Miss Val’s last, complete with a video tribute. A lot of alums came back to celebrate with a flash mob, and Ken Jeong was randomly there.

If you’re wondering about the actual competition (?), Kyla fell twice and then revenge-20’d on beam and floor, making her the 11th gymnast to get a 10 on all four events. Katelyn Ohashi also got another 10 for her last home floor routine, and we were treated to this gif, which will be so useful going forward.

OK’s doing OK. Oklahoma competed twice last week, including an incredible senior night 198.275 against Alabama, where Brenna Dowell finally got her 10 on vault and Lauren had the fangirl moment she’s been waiting for.

So is LSU. They also had their senior night, getting a 198.175 win against Arizona. Sarah Finnegan got a 10 on bars, and Kennedi Edney got one on vault.

Georgia v. Utah. Georgia beat Utah by less than a tenth, but they’ve suffered a blow with Emily Schild out for the season. Luckily, Harrison Ford is here to help us cope.

Other news

Lawsuit filed against USOC. Fifty-one women filed a lawsuit against the U.S. Olympic Committee on Tuesday. They allege that the org failed to prevent Larry Nassar’s abuse and acted too slowly in the face of allegations.

Required reading

• Journalists share experiences covering Nassar cases, sexual assault (The State News).
• Simone Biles: ‘I go to therapy, because at times I don’t want to set foot in the gym’ (The Guardian).

Star status

Comebacks. Becky Downie says she’s coming back in June, and Larisa talked about post-Montreal feels in this interview.

Upgrades. Sloane Blakely has a Nabieva!

Last words

Someday going to therapy won’t be a headline, but here we are. #LiterallyEveryoneNeedsTherapy

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