“Alexis Vasquez’s leaps cured my migraine, cleared my pores, watered my crops and boosted my GPA.” –Suzanne of Twitter fame. Maybe she’s born with it; maybe it’s Alexis Vasquez’s leaps.
Elite Canada happened. Ana Padurariu easily won the title to become the new Queen of Canada, sorry Elizabeth. Here’s your recap.
The Buckeye Classic happened. Here are the results. If you’re wondering about Kristal (Uzelac) Bodenschatz, the 32-year-old former junior national champion who’s gunning for a comeback, she unfortunately fell on beam and didn’t qualify elite.
The Reykjavik Games happened. Here are your results, which I retrieved for you from the depths of the volcano Eyjafjallajökull, you’re so welcome.
Meets happened. In the actually most important sporting event of the weekend, Oklahoma beat Florida, with both teams surpassing 198. Lauren was kind enough to live blog this one for you #hail.
There was crack scoring. What else is new?
P.S. Here’s part three of our NCAA elites series.
The Ed Dept’s not happy with MSU. The U.S. Department of Education is not happy with Michigan State University’s handling of Larry Nassar’s abuse, according to a scathing report released on Wednesday. The report says 11 individuals reported Nassar’s abuse to university officials, including in 2016, when a coach was informed but chose not to report.
Here are some other findings from the report.
USAG has a new Veep. Since Julia Louis-Dreyfus impolitely declined in a way that only she can, Annie Heffernon was named USA Gymnastics’ vice president of women’s gymnastics. Heffernon was already serving as the interim veep.
- Amanda Thomashaw will represent the Sister Survivors at the State of the Union Address [withholds political commentary, explodes, you’re welcome].
- InStyle named Simone Biles one of their aptly named Badass 50.
Comebacks. The sun rose, the clouds parted, and Larisa Iordache was cleared to train. *Tears up* It feels good to win one.
International friendships. Watch Japan train in harmony with their rivals in China, say “aww,” shed a tear and buy this sugar drink before going back to your regularly scheduled programming #CTENeverHeardofit.
Somebody. Please tell me this story about John Geddert is true.
Idk. What even is this vault. Like, what’s even the point of the table?
Give those trousers a medal. These pants did a triple-twisting double layout in the snow, proving that we can save the athletes the trouble and just watch people throwing clothes in arctic temperatures from now on.
Aww. Here’s a dad watching beam. Shed a tear and buy this gadget, it’ll improve your life, we have no ulterior motives, promise.
Because you asked…
It’s been a rough week. Do not remind me that it’s Monday. (And by the time Lauren, who stepped on a tetanus nail last night and bled through her shoe, posted this, it was Wednesday, so. Rough.)
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